We Don't Speak Like Girls: What Event Planners Need to Know About Booking Female Keynote Speakers

Summary: Female keynote speakers make up 32% of the professional speaking industry. The assumption that they got there because of gender, not merit, is one of the most persistent myths in the business. The best female speakers don't get booked because they're women. They get booked because they're good at what they do. Included is a list of a few of my favorite female speakers in the industry today.

Kimberly Parry, Burnout Speaker and Certified Personal Stylist

There's a conversation happening right now inside the female speaker community. It shows up in DMs and in green rooms after a standing ovation. It's the conversation about what it actually costs to be a woman on stage in a male-dominated industry: not in dollars, but in the daily accumulation of comments that are small enough to dismiss, but that are still dismissive of the talent and skill female speakers bring to the stage.

Comments like "You're lucky you're a woman. It’s so much easier for you to get booked."

Microaggression in the Speaking Industry

The comments come honestly, and usually because female keynote speakers make up approximately 32% of professional speakers in the industry. But there’s a story behind the stage. The story of what it takes to earn and keep that seat.

I've spent most of my professional life in male-dominated spaces. I did wrestling stats and helped coach the men's volleyball team in high school. I was one of three women among 120 colleagues in my first position as a religious educator. I know what it feels like to walk into a room and be the visible exception.

At my first faculty meeting, the softball team came up. I asked if it was co-ed. I got the deer-in-headlights look. Someone finally offered that I could come cheer with the wives.

I played on my co-ed volleyball team instead.

These aren't war stories. They're the ordinary, low-grade friction that comes with being underrepresented. What researchers call microaggressions. They’re unintentional, mostly unconscious statements that discount, diminish, or even degrade another person’s value at the table. Ironically, only once in the 20+ years that I've been speaking were the tables turned. I had the opportunity to speak at an event (not even a women's leadership event), where all the speakers except one. We tried to find him at lunch, but couldn't. He wasn't anywhere in the building, so, eventually, we started lunch without him. When I saw him later, I told him we'd missed seeing him at lunch. His response? "I felt a little uncomfortable, so just decided to go over my talks in my car." I'd be hot and hungry if I did that every time I was the only women in the room at a speaking gig. But I don't judge. I know how it feels.

What Gets a Speaker Booked

The truth is that female speakers aren’t better than men collectively, or vice versa. And that’s the point.

Female keynote speakers don't get booked because of diversity quotas. They get booked because they’re good at what they do.

We're women who, like the male colleagues we respect and admire, earn our place on the stage because we hone our craft, speak with power, and deliver value with our own Signature Soul Style™.

That's the job description.

The best female speakers I know (and I know many) are subject-matter experts with original frameworks, hard-won client transformation stories, and the kind of presence that changes how an audience thinks about a problem. They don't succeed because they were handed an opportunity. They succeed because they built something that made the opportunity possible in the first place. And they’re voices that are needed because they bring fresh perspectives and different points of view to the stage.

Why Event Planners Still Struggle to Build Diverse Lineups

So the question that remains is that, If there are female speakers this good in the world, why do event planners still struggle to find them?

Part of the answer is visibility. When your default network skews a certain way, your speaker referrals do too. You book who you know, who gets referred, and who already has brand recognition in your circles.

The other part is this: female speakers are often building expertise in burnout recovery, wellness culture, communication, and confidence. What used to be known as “soft skills” that took a back seat for booking, but in a post-AI world are the topics audiences are hungry for right now. In our world, human intelligence, human-centered leadership, and human connections are the skills AI can’t replace.

A Shortlist of Female Speakers Worth Bookmarking

If you're an event planner wanting some standout female speakers for your speaker lineup, here are a few of the female speakers I think every event planner should know about:

•       Claude Silver: Chief Heart Officer with Vayner Media. Workplace culture.

•       Alicia Lyttle: AI Made Easy. AI strategy.

•       Erin King: The Energy Instinct. Energy management and peak performance.

•       Cassandra Worthy: Change Enthusiasm. Change leadership, resilience and emotional intelligence.

•       Jen Gottlieb: Be Seen. Visibility and personal branding.

•       Terri Lenowski: Soulful Listening. Communication and active listening.

•       Ashley Kirkwood: The Currency of Confidence. Communication and confidence

And, of course, if you’re looking for a burnout speaker, there’s me:

•       Kimberly Parry: Succeed with Style™. Burnout, AI Freeze, and style-driven success.

This is definitely not an exhaustive list, but it's a good starting point.

The Sandlot Principle

In the movie The Sandlot, Ham delivers the ultimate playground insult: "You play ball like a girl."

I think about that line when I hear the comments and see the posts about the microaggressions in the speaking world.

Because here's what's true: We don't speak like girls. We're women who, like our male colleagues we respect and admire, earn our place on the stage because we hone our craft, speak with power, and deliver value with our own Signature Soul Style™.

(And ignore the kid who fired back at Ham. Don't wear your mama's bra. As I taught in my TEDx talk, discover the transformative power of your own powerbra.)

When someone says I'm lucky to be a woman in this industry, I agree. I'm lucky to stand alongside a group of extraordinary female speakers. And event planners who hire us are lucky that we're good at what we do.

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About the Author

Kimberly Parry is a burnout speaker and Certified Personal Stylist, personal style strategist, and the founder of the Succeed with Style™ Framework.

A former religious educator turned fashion stylist after burnout almost took her life, Kimberly combines fashion principles with personal and professional development tools to help high-performing individuals and organizations transform burnout into elevated leadership, dynamic workplace cultures, and high-functioning teams.

Book Kimberly to speak at your next event.

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FAQs

Q: Do events have budgets set aside for female speakers?

A: Some organizations and conferences do allocate a specific budget for speaker lineup diversity. But the best female keynote speakers aren't booked from a separate budget. They're booked because they're the best person for the topic. Being a woman doesn't get you on stage. Being good at speaking does.

Q: What topics are trending in keynote speaking right now?

A: Burnout recovery, AI strategy, human-centered leadership, communication, and confidence are among the most in-demand keynote topics today - areas where many of the industry's top female speakers have built deep expertise.

Q: What makes a great keynote speaker?

A: The best keynote speakers combine subject-matter expertise with original frameworks, real client transformation stories, and a stage presence that shifts how an audience thinks about a problem. Gender has nothing to do with it.