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3 Reasons Mothers Hate Mother's Day... and How to Love It Again

Updated: May 5

Here’s a little-known secret: since I became a mom, I secretly have always hated Mother's Day. And I’m not alone.


While Mother’s Day is a holiday that allows us to honor our mothers and the work they put in 365 days a year, all of the gift ads featuring women who have it all together and their screen-worthy families provide a holiday season where moms tend to lean some of our own worst habits—habits I help woman confront daily.


While this is by no means an exhaustive list, here are the three main reasons most mothers hate Mother’s Day:


  1. Unrealistic Expectations

One of the biggest sources of burnout for modern-day women is our tendency to try to live up to unrealistic and unachievable standards. We never seem to measure up, and there’s good reason for that: most of the stories we tell ourselves are fiction.


The truth is, no mother is perfect. We all have strengths and weaknesses Instead of striving for perfection, embracing your unique strengths as a mother can help combat the tendency toward perfectionism.


2. The Comparison Trap

Then there’s the age-old adage that comparison is the thief of joy—and Mother’s Day season is ripe with opportunities to compare our mom fails to our perceived view of everyone else’s mom wins. Especially with social media.


But again—the truth is that we all have different strengths and weaknesses. Some moms are great at cleaning; some are great at playing; some are great at listening; some are great with boundaries. And I’m sure there are moms out there (probably raised by professional therapists or parenting professionals who were healthy and modeled effective parenting tools) who are skilled in all those areas.


By confession—I’m not one of them. (And I completed a certification as a Certified Parent Coach.) But I have my strengths. I’m resilient. I’m courageous. I’m proudly a Cringe Mom. And some days, as declared by my kids’ friends, a hype mom. Annnnnnd. I have my weaknesses. (Just ask my kids).


3. Unacknowledged Contributions

Last but not least comes the fact that motherhood is often a thankless job. The fact that our kids may offer unsolicited feedback on the regular that only seems to validate our self-doubt and frustration doesn’t always help the situation.


But here’s the good news. Mother’s Day doesn’t have to be full of dread! It IS possible to love it again. And here are three simple tips to get you started:


  1. Tune Down the Cultural Noise

Mother's Day often comes with a barrage of messages from society, advertising, and social media, painting an unrealistic picture of what a perfect mother—and a perfect Mother's Day should look like. To combat this, focus on what truly matters to you and your family. Look at what works and what you do well—even if it’s putting the fun in dysfunctional. No family on earth has your unique dynamic, so navigating parenting will not be a one-size-fits-all experience.


2. Embrace Your Unique Parenting Style

Every mother is unique, with her own strengths and weaknesses. Instead of comparing yourself to others, celebrate your individuality. Reflect on your strengths as a parent and the positive impact you have on your children's lives. What works for one family may not work for another, and embracing your unique parenting style can help you feel more confident and content.


3. Develop a Habit of Gratitude

Finally, focus on gratitude. For me, gratitude is the go-to game-changer when my mood tanks. It’s not about sunshine and roses. It’s just about shifting my focus from what’s going wrong (or what I think I’m doing wrong) to the little things that are going right: a moment of peace in between bouts of fighting, a thank you—even if they are few and in between, or simply your child’s smile.


And if you are burned out this Mother’s Day and need a day of pampered empowerment (as a single mama, I’m looking forward to it!), join us for the Haute Mama Mother’s Day Extravaganza on May 8th and 9th, where we’ll enjoy friendship, food and fun! (Single Day and Two-Day VIP tickets are available at https://www.eventcreate.com/e/hautemamamothersdayextravaganza)

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