Burnout Starts with Your Leadership Style: Some Kicks to Kick to the Curb

Summary: Clothes can say a lot about a person. And not just about how you look. In this post, Burnout Speaker and Certified Personal Stylist Kimberly Parry breaks down what your shoes can teach about your leadership style, and the leadership patterns that could use a closet cleanse.

You can tell a lot about a leader by their shoes.

I learned that during a natural disaster in my own neighborhood, a few months after a wildfire evacuation and a hundred-year storm. The mudslides came. And so did the news crews, the Red Cross, the government officials, and the politicians.

One politician had been there for hours, wearing jeans and tennis shoes. She'd been sitting with families, helping clear mud, and making numerous calls to try and get the help they desperately needed.

Another one showed up when the news crews arrived. He was wearing expensive, shiny, tassled loafers. I remember the shoes. Clearly.

As I tried to navigate the around the media chaos to get supplies to the families who needed them, I overheard the man say,"Would it be possible to move to the other side of the road? I don't want to get my shoes dirty."

That moment said everything. Not just about the shoes, but it said a lot about the man wearing them.

And now, years later, I can't even remember his name.

But the other leader? She passed away a year ago, and I still get emotional thinking about her.

She wasn't afraid to get dirty. She expected it. She showed up in jeans and a t-shirt and left sweaty, tired, and with mud on her shoes.

She left this world with a legacy of a life and service she could be proud of.

The Shoes Leaders Fill

I've spent a lot of my professional life in leadership and leadership development. I've known a lot of leaders.

And as a fashion stylist, I've seen a lot of shoes.

The two have more in common than you'd think. Leaders have big shoes to fill. And your footwear can say a lot about how you do that:

The Lifeguard Flip Flops

My first W-2 job was as a lifeguard. We all wore bathing suits, sunglasses, whistles (the Acme Thunderer: if you know you know), and some combination of flip flops, Flojos, or Tevas. The footwear was mostly preference. Not status.

But the way we wore them told a different story.

The leader who made the biggest impression wore flip flops. He took his rotation on the long shift without complaint. He cleaned bathrooms alongside the rest of us. And when his duties were done first (which they usually were), he helped us finish ours.

He led by example, built real rapport, and never asked anyone to do something he wasn't willing to do himself.

We might grumble and complain on those long shifts. Just never to him.

The takeaway: Leading by example isn't just a nice quality. It's the foundation of every team that actually works. It was classic then. It still is now.

The Tassel Loafers

I'm an open-minded stylist. I genuinely honor my clients' preferences.

But I'll be honest. There's a trend with shiny tassel loafers. I noticed them the day I interviewed with my first boss out of college. The head of a law firm.

A few weeks after I started, I came in on a Monday to find that a coworker had come in over the weekend, cleaned out her desk, and quit without a word. That was the first in a series of turnovers. Broken promises. A steady current of criticism and complaints with no training, no path to improve, and not a single compliment to balance the weight of it.

I eventually hit my own last straw. I came in like I'd been told, rudely, every day since I started. I handed him his mail, organized by date. I gave him his messages, prioritized by importance.

And when he rudely asked why I was still standing there instead of getting back to work, I handed him my non-negotiable two-week notice.

The takeaway: People don't leave companies. They leave leaders. If the revolving door keeps spinning, the shoes worth examining might be your own.

The Low Quarters

Leadership doesn't end in the office. It translates into every area of your life. And how you lead at work is often how you lead at home.

Take my dad.

He was a career Air Force officer who paid me and my sister a quarter to shine his low quarters, the dress shoes he wore with his blues. I still remember his shoe shine kit.

During his active duty years, he brought the structure and command of a career military man home with him. Sir-yes-sir. Rules were rules. Expectations were clear. Discipline wasn't optional.

My brothers, who came along later, got a softer version.

But here's what I know about my dad: he had structure and he had standards, and he also had integrity, humor, and a deep sense of duty to the people he led and the family he raised. When he passed away in October, we honored him with TAPS and a full gun salute.

That doesn't happen because you were someone's boss (although, as an officer, he was). It happens because you were a leader worth following.

The takeaway: Leadership and legacy aren't just how you show up for business. It's how you show up for the business of life. High standards, real connection, discipline and heart. That's a combination that earns a legacy.

The Tennis Shoes

Which brings us back to the mudslide.

The leader whose name I still remember wore tennis shoes. Not as a statement. Because she came to work. She wasn't trying to be seen as a leader. She was showing up as one.

I've known more than one leader like her. They're the ones who take responsibility when things go sideways and give away the credit when things go right. They're the ones who roll up their sleeves and work alongside their people instead of dictating to them.

The takeaway: The leaders who leave the biggest impressions aren't always the most polished ones. They're the ones you'd follow into a mudslide.

Leadership Styles That Need a Closet Cleanse

Fashion has seasons. At one point, there was a time we needed leaders with structure and command. It was welcomed by a workforce returning home after WWI and WWII with PTSD and not a lot of wellness resources for support. Those leadership styles worked then, but they were built for a different workforce, a different era, and a different set of problems. Holding onto them now isn't working.

And the data backs that up. Here are some leadership patterns that are in need of a closet cleanse:

•       Command-and-control leadership that mistakes fear for respect. According to research, 70% of the variance in team engagement comes down to the manager alone. When that manager leads through control and intimidation, your team will comply but there's no buy-in to the work and no loyalty for the leader. When a better option comes along, they talent is gone.

•       Micromanaging disguised as high standards. Nearly 60% of employees have worked under a micromanager. Of those, 68% said it destroyed their morale. If you believe your HR team is qualified to hire the right people, then trust your people to do their job.

•       Feedback that only flows in one direction. 79% of employees who quit say that lack of appreciation as their primary reason for leaving. And yet only 22% of employees say they get the right amount of recognition for the work they do. If your people hear from you when something's wrong but never when something's right, you're not leading. You're criticizing. And no employee of the month parking spot will fill that gap

•       Performative leadership. When leaders demand work from their employees but don't do their own, employees notice. There are leaders who talk a good talk, but unless you walk the walk, there's a good chance your employees will do some walking of their own.

Leadership Styles Worth Keeping

The leadership traits that hold up over time aren't complicated. They just require you to legitimately care about the people you lead.

•       Leading by example. Managers who lead by example and invest in meaningful weekly conversations with their teams see 21-28% lower turnover than their peers. The math is simple. Show up, and your people will too..

•       Transparency. Say what you mean and mean what you say. People can handle hard news. What they can't handle is being kept in the dark. According to research, only 45% of employees clearly know what's expected of them at work.

•       Accountability without blame. Own what's yours, including the decisions that didn't work. A leader who takes responsibility builds trust. A leader who deflects destroys it. That's not just good values. It's good business

•       Investing in people's growth. Employees who feel their organization recognizes their talents and supports their development are 47% less likely to go looking for another job. Mentorship isn't a perk. It's how you build a team that doesn't need to be micromanaged, because they're actually good at what they do.

•       Being human. 71% of employees say that frequent recognition would make them less likely to leave their role. A simple, genuine acknowledgment of good work goes further than most leaders realize.

The Bottom Line

Leading with Style™ isn't about how you look. It's about how you show up for your business, and for the business of life.

The shoes you fill as a leader say more about you than any title on a business card. What matters isn't the shoes you wear, it's how you wear them.

The leaders people remember aren't the ones who kept their shoes clean. It's the ones who are willing to get them dirty and support their teams.

About the Author

Kimberly Parry is a TEDx speaker and ICF-trained Certified Master Professional Coach with over 20 years of teaching, speaking, and leadership development experience. Through her keynotes, workshops, and leadership retreats, she helps leaders elevate their leadership style to prevent burnout in the workplace and design workplace cultures where employees thrive.

Book Kimberly to Speak at your next event.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What does personal style have to do with leadership?

Style, the way I define it, isn't just what you wear. It's how you show up authentically and powerfully for life. The leaders who show up with intention and clarity, visually and otherwise, build credibility faster and signal to the people they lead that details matter. Those are the leaders who leave a legacy that's remembered and who foster high functioning teams.

What leadership styles cause the most damage to team culture?

The most destructive leadership styles include micromanagement that signals you don't believe in your team, feedback that only run one direction, and performative, ego-based leadership. These styles lead to turnover, disengagement, and burnout.

What is the difference between a boss and a leader?

A boss has authority. A leader has influence. A boss can make people comply. A leader makes people want to show up. The distinction matters because authority is positional and temporary, but influence is built through how you treat people every single day. Human-centered leadership is a hallmark of leaders that people remember and that inspire action and loyalty in their teams.

What is the Succeed with Style™ framework?

Succeed with Style™ is a coaching and leadership development framework created by Kimberly Parry that combines the power of personal development with the world of fashion styling to help individuals and organizations identify the root cause of burnout and transform them into Style-Driven Success™ strategies that work.