Is That Restless Feeling Burnout? What the “Soul Itch” Is Really Telling You

Summary: If you’re a high-achieving woman feeling restless, bored, or strangely stagnant even when life looks fine on paper, you might be burned out without realizing it. In this post, Kimberly Parry, burnout speaker and Style-Driven Success™ coach, breaks down the two root causes of personal burnout, and what that low-grade “soul itch” is trying to tell you.

Here’s something I hear a lot from the high-achieving women I work with: “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My life is good. I should be happy. But somethings just . . . off. Am I broken?”

The good news is they’re not.If anything, they’re just one step away from their next level of growth and success. They just don’t know it.And that restlessness they’re feeling? It’s what I call the “soul itch,” and it’s one flavor of burnout. It just doesn’t look the way most people expect it to.

Burnout Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All

Most people think burnout looks like exhaustion that leaves you feeling depleted and running on empty. And, yes, that’s one way burnout can show up.

But in my work with burnout, I see two main root causes:

The first starts as irritation that builds to anger, frustration, or resentment. It gets loud and is hard to ignore. And you usually think it’s someone else’s fault. The annoying co-worker. The boss (or romantic partner. Or neighbor. Or . . .) who makes your job, and life, unlivable.

This type burnout is a warning sign that something in your life genuinely isn’t right for you. You're doing something that was never a real fit to begin with.

And our lizard brains that resist change like to focus on everything and everyone outside of us that needs to change in an attempt to ignore the uncomfortable truth that there’s something that’s requiring us to take action to change our circumstance.

The second root cause of burnout is quieter. It starts with calm. Nothing bad. Nothing wrong. Just. Meh. Fine. Okay.

And that leads to boredom. Boredom that eventually grows into antsiness or a feeling of stagnation, even when you’re busy.

This kind of burnout is more confusing for most, because nothing is obviously wrong. Life is good. Maybe even great. On paper. But something deep down just doesn’t feel quite right.

It’s what I call the soul itch, and until you scratch it, it won’t leave you alone.

The Call to Evolution

Here’s the thing about human beings: we’re not built to plateau. We’re evolutionary creatures that are wired for growth.

And that’s what makes the soul itch so confusing, especially for high-achievers.

It’s what happens when something that once lit you up, the thing that used to feel like the exact right fit, can quietly become a size too small. Not because anything went wrong, but because you’re ready for more.

And for most women, our first response is to push it down. We remind ourselves of how much we have to be grateful for.

And we really try to be. Grateful. Happy. Content.

Except that we’re not.

And we tell ourselves we’re being selfish or ungrateful.

But we’re not. It’s the soul itch calling you to more. Because you’re wired for it. And the more you try to ignore it, the louder it gets. It always does.

Why High-Performing Women Miss What The Soul Itch is Telling Them

The irony is that the very things that make you good at your life also make you good at ignoring your intuition. That clarion call for your next stage of evolution.

It’s because high-performing women are exceptional at performing through discomfort. We’re trained for it.

We handle things so competently and juggle life’s proverbial balls so well that we ignore it.

But like Oprah Winfrey once said, the universe will usually start by talking to us in a whisper. If we ignore it, it will shout. But if we keep ignoring it, eventually, it will knock us over the head with a brick.

And why do we do it? Because we’ve spent years learning to override the whispers in the service of getting things done.

So when the soul itch shows up, you manage it. You pick up a new goal, a new project, a new challenge. And for a while, that works.

Until it doesn’t.

Because the soul itch isn’t asking you to do more. It’s calling you to be more. Not someone different than who you are, but the bigger version of yourself. The higher version of yourself. The next-level you that you’re meant to be.

Because you were made for it.

So What You Do With It?

The women who come to work with me aren’t broken. They’re ready for more. They just don’t have clarity on what that is or what it means.

And it drives them nuts.

For go getters and goal setters, the sudden lack of clarity throws them for a loop, and the strategies that used to work stop working. It’s when mindset, grit, and goal setting just burn you out faster

That’s when it’s time to get soul set.

It’s time to check in with your inner guidance, get grounded in your core identity, and get clear on what life is calling you to evolve. Because when you get clear on that, the next step starts feeling obvious.

That’s what scratching the soul itch looks like. Not a dramatic life overhaul. Not blowing up what you’ve built. Just getting honest about what’s calling you forward and taking the next right step toward it.

The Bottom Line

If you’re feeling the soul itch, the good news is that you're not broken. The bad news? Until you scratch it, it's not going away. If you need some help getting soul set and don't know where to start, our Unlock Your IT Factor™ course is designed to do just that. But whether you do that or something else, the trick is to get reconnected to who you are, gain clarity on what's not working, and that information is usually what you need to get clear on where life is telling you you're ready to go. Lean into it. Because you're worth it. ~Your Real Life Fairy Godmother™

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About the Author

Kimberly Parry is a burnout speaker and Style-Driven Success™ Coach who combines fashion styling with personal development coaching to help high-achieving women navigate burnout, growth, and transformation. As the founder of Emergence Life Coaching and creator of the Succeed with Style™ Framework, she’s a TEDx speaker who inspires audiences to transform burnout, build powerful personal brands, and achieve success that feels as good as it looks.

Book Kimberly to Speak at your next event.

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FAQs

Q: Is feeling restless or stagnant a sign of burnout?

A: Yes, although it doesn’t look the way most people expect. Burnout isn’t always anger and exhaustion. For high-achieving women, it can also show up as boredom, restlessness, or a quiet feeling of being stagnant even when life looks fine. That version of burnout usually means you’ve outgrown where you are and you’re ready for your next level of growth.

Q: What is the difference between the two types of personal burnout?

A: One type shows up as anger, resentment, and frustration. It’s a sign something in your life genuinely isn’t right for you and needs to change. The other shows up as restlessness, boredom, and stagnation. It’s a sign you’ve outgrown your current chapter and are ready to evolve. They feel completely different, and they require completely different responses.

Q: Why do high-achieving women feel restless even when life looks good?

A: Because high-achieving women are wired for growth, and growth doesn’t stop just because life looks successful from the outside. That restlessness is rarely ingratitude. It’s usually a sign that you’ve become too big for the chapter you’re in, and your next level is ready when you are.

Q: How does coaching help when you feel the pull toward something more but don’t know what it is?

A: A skilled coach helps you get underneath the restlessness and help you get clarity in moving forward. Working with a coach like Kimberly Parry can help you move from vague dissatisfaction to real clarity on what you want, why it matters, and what the next right step for you looks like.